Monday, February 07, 2005

Tupperware doesn't "burp", it "whispers"

"Diva, why on earth are you posting to your blog at 9:09 pm on a Monday night? Aren't you supposed to be at the Big Fancy Casino losing money and in general just spreading your unluckiness around?"

Well, yes, Dear Reader...that is my normal Monday night activity, but tonight I am at home. I had forgotten that wrestling comes on on Mondays. Wow. I had forgotten that Monday nights used to be the nights that I watched WWE until my eyes finally started doing that crossy thing and I'd doze on the couch until Mr. Diva would try to wake me up for his version of a WWE match. (Except, unlike those guys on TV, we were always naked...) Usually I'd just feign utter exhaustion and sleep on the couch, though. Ahhh...but those were the days before Ladies' Night at the Big Fancy Casino. Now I come in from the casino reeking of cigarette smoke, all sulled up because I didn't win shit again and he usually doesn't even attempt sex on Monday nights.

My Tupperware party ran late, which I knew was going to happen. They always run late, even when you try hard to not let them. I sold Pampered Chef for four years, I know these things. We had SUCH a good time, though! It was so nice seeing Kim again, who now has two GROWN UP children. *sob* She was still the same Kim we all had grown to love when I was having a T-ware party on the average of every 2 months. (Why didn't I save my money back then - back when I had it??? Oh yeah, because I had it.) My friend, Chloe, booked a party and I need one more person (hint hint - any takers?) to book so I can get this incredibly nifty serving platter set, which I have never laid eyes on, but I oh so have to have them! They're FREE for cryin' out loud, so I now have an obsession with these platter thingies.

You should've seen my mom...OMG, she was hilarious the closer it got to 8:00. She was the one who swore she'd leave promptly at 8 even if a burping was in process. Well, this woman had tickets, by golly and she wasn't leaving until the drawing had taken place. She had her tickets laid out on my end table, in numerical order no less, was sitting on the edge of her chair, fauching at the bit and tapping her foot. The mean part of me wanted to drag things out just a little longer... She didn't win, btw. Didn't matter to her though - at that point she was too worried about making it to Miami in time for her free play. Heather was hot on her heels, with two crying, cranky children in tow who just weren't quite done playing yet. The things we do for free money on Ladies' Night.

Mr. Diva of course had to push that marital bliss envelope just as far as he could, even after a rather vehement request to be back before 8:00 so I'd be assured a chance to make it to town. He sauntered through the door at 8:20. By the time everyone left it was 8:30 and I had plenty of time to get there. Okay plenty is an exaggeration - it takes 22 minutes to get there, so it was pushing it, but still do-able. He said I could go if I put the kids to bed. No way I could've accomplished that. It wasn't worth the stress and strain. So he'll just have to be understanding tomorrow night if I happen to get tied up at my financial management class and he mysteriously doesn't make it on time to Men's Night at the Lucky Turtle. He'll also have to be understanding if I am just "too exhausted" from all the cleaning I did today, plus hosting a party, to play WWE with him tonight. He'll just have to get over it, won't he?

Put that in your selfish pipe and smoke it, Mr. Diva. Hah! Two can play at this game we call Twelve Years of Marriage. I may not win all the time, but I still have the only vagina in this relationship and it seems to be a pretty popular item and I ain't afraid to use my ownership of it to get what I want or to get even.

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