Friday, February 04, 2005

Professional Day is just another way to say Parental Torture

The kids are home from school today. They are not making this a good day. Already I've had to break out the oh so heinous punishment of "Kiss Your Sibling". Yep, when they are so bad with the fighting and bickering and arguing I make them apologize, hug, then kiss. They hate it. But sometimes, sometimes, it makes them quit. Today, however, it hasn't.

Abby's friend, McKenzie, is an only child. Poor kid. I can only imagine the therapy sessions for that kid.

*deep shaky drag on her cigarette* "Man, they just kept AT each other! The was awful. Afwul. And their mother. Oh that poor woman... she was so beyond help that she sat at her computer for a solid hour in her pajamas. I think she was trying to ignore them *another deep drag* but man, how can you ignore something like that? You CAN'T, can't."

I should probably just go ahead and write her mom a check for at least two therapy sessions right now. It's the least I can do.

Speaking of therapy and kissing family members...
Awhile back Sam and my nephew, TotTwo, were fighting. Not just bickering, but all out WWE Smackdown stuff. I had gotten onto them repeatedly and they just kept right on. Then someone got hurt and the fighting became bloody out of anger. I busted them both, sat them in chairs and when everyone had quit crying I told them to hug. Then kiss. The looks on those poor boys' faces was of pure horror. They looked at each other and then at me and you could see fight or flight being considered. Finally, after threats of more spankings and a call to his momma and possibly a grounding, they kissed each other quickly on the cheek and Sam fled to his room. TotTwo just sat there, his face covered with his hands. I left the room, walked around the corner and silently laughed till tears rolled down my cheeks. A little bit later I walked back into the living room to find him sitting in the same position. I said, "Buddy, you aren't in trouble anymore. You can go play." Nothing. "Buddy? You okay?"

"No, Aunt Kiki! I'm not okay! I keep remembering that KISS!!"

*deep drag on his cigarette* "Man, we were just blowin' off some steam, wrestlin' and stuff and then someone got hurt...can't remember which one of us...and my aunt *drags shakily* man, she swatted us both. That wasn't so bad, it didn't hurt. But man...when she made us KISS. Dude, that is JUST NOT RIGHT."

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Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...