Because if you can't be clever, you can just post a survey (or four)

Much to the chagrin of me, myself, I and my sister, I now have a MySpace account and I (gasp) have even made some changes to it and it's nauseating pink and purple and I have a very strange attachment to it. Did I mention the chagrin? I swore I'd never do it.

Anyway, along with MySpace comes many, many opportunities to do many, many surveys and y'all know what a survey whore I am. And as the title says, if you can't be clever on your own, you can just post your answers to embarrassing questions.

THIRTY MORE

1. What TV character do you most identify with? Roseanne

2. Describe the worst haircut you’ve ever had? She cut it short, but left the sides really long - I cried all the way home. It was like a reverse mullet.

3. Would you share your ChapStick with a complete stranger? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Can you say OCD?

4. What was your favorite toy growing up, and do you still have it, and if not, do you want it? Strawberry Shortcakes - yes I still have them. In fact, my youngest child played with them this afternoon.

5. If all of the people within ten years of your own age vanished off of the planet, would you date someone older or younger than you? I married a man 10 years older than me and it hasn't been too much of a problem. I'm totally attracted to older men so dating someone much older wouldn't bother me. However, I have dated guys younger than me and it was like babysitting. Of course, at the time I was 18 and they were like 16, so not only was it illegal, but yeah, it pretty much was babysitting.

6. What is the first thing you do when you get into the shower? I usually have to adjust the water temperature some more. Then I wet my hair

7. Tell us about the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done to impress someone you had a crush on. Begged him to just say he was my boyfriend for a week. I cringe when I think about it now.

8. If dogs assumed the roles of humans and humans assumed the roles of dogs, what tricks would you do and how often would you ask to be left outside to go to the bathroom? What a stupid effing question.

9. Scarier slasher… Freddy, Jason or Leatherface… and tell us why. Freddy is ridiculous. Leatherface is uber creepy and certainly wouldn't want to encounter him. I have never seen a Jason movie.

10. Do you have any strange eating habits that you’d like to share with us? I won't eat brussel sprouts, asparagus or cooked spinach. I cannot eat a PB&J with any flavor jelly other than grape. I can't drink milk unless it has chocolate in it and even then I have to drink it really fast and not breathe while I'm doing it.

11. Sex… overrated act, or everything it’s cracked up to be? Depends on how much sleep I've had.

12. What was the last thing you printed from your computer? A counted cross stitch pattern.

13. Outside of a Christmas Tree, name something you decorate in the month of December. My entire house

14. How many people know the real you? Pretty much everyone - I'm an open book. There are only a few hidden chapters.

15. What is your greatest accomplishment thus far? Having and raising three kids who, number one I was told I'd never have and number two, so far haven't turned out to be juvenile delinquents.

16. How soon do you think it is before CDs are completely obsolete? Oh good grief, I still have cassettes and record albums.

17. Is there an everyday activity that you never learned to master? I can't swim, but frankly it's not something I want to accomplish since I'm terrified of water.

18. What is your least favorite month of the year and why? August because it's so freakin' hot.

19. When was the last time you regretted a decision you made? I spanked Abby and it turned out to not be her fault. It was hard enough to spank a 10 year old who is nearly as tall as I am and then to have to go back and apologize later.....it was not fun.

20. Give us one memory from kindergarten. Mrs. Pogue pulling me aside at the book fair and having me read a 3rd grade book for the 2nd grade teacher. She was really proud and I just wanted to impress that 2nd grade teacher for her.

21. If you were an animal living in a zoo, would you be content in your life? Again, stupid effing question.

22. Are you living your ideal life, and if not, what would it take? I've pretty much accomplished the big goals I'd set for myself - getting married and having kids. Now to work on the book.

23. What is a better memory trigger for you… sights, sounds or scents? Scents and sounds would have to tie.

24. Have you ever sat in the back of a police car? Yes - at Cadet Lawman Academy. We sat in the back while the other people in our squad got to drive recklessly. Talk about good times.

25. Do you consider yourself “normal”? Normal is so boring.

26. What is the sexiest quality a significant other can have? A sense of humor and a knack for knowing what I need and want and me not having to print a friggin' sign to let him know.

27. More annoying… a flea, a mosquito, or a gnat? Pecker gnats are just so bothersome. (Not that I have a pecker or anything.)

28. Would you sleep with a stranger for a million dollars? You betchum, Red Ryder. I really need some money right now. My bookie's on my back.

29. What is the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done in life? Slept with a total stranger. It was eons ago and I was going through a very rebellious phase.

30. Could you make it to Hollywood auditions in American Idol? No way. I can't sing anymore.

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TRUTH SURVEY

1. What brand of shirt are you wearing? A Just My Size sweatshirt.

2. Would you kiss anyone on your top friends? This is obviously a MySpace question - I don't make it a habit of rating my friends anymore. In elementary school, yes. Adulthood, not so much. Anyway, my top friends on MySpace are mostly female. Although.....if the money were right.......

3. How many kids do you want to have? I think I'll just stick with the three I have. My husband says I can't have any more toys.

4. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? My mom, yes. Dad....well, things aren't the way I'd like them to be.

5. Do you wanna change your name? Nope. I've always liked my name. I never went through the phase where I wanted to change it. Although in 7th grade I tried spelling it Krystin for awhile.

6. What did you do for your last birthday? CASINO RUN!!!

7. What time did you wake up today? 6:30 - I totally slept in. Paul coughed all night and when he wasn't coughing and waking me up, he was jabbing me with his bony knees or molesting me.

8. What were you doing at midnight last night? Cursing the cold my husband has acquired.

9. Name something you CANNOT wait to do? Go to Disney World in January.

10. Last time you saw your dad? Uhhh.......Halloween.

11. What is one thing you wish you could change about your family? All in all, I'm pretty happy with how things are now.

12. How many people live in your household? 5

13. Last thing you ate/drink? A Dr. Pepper and a chocolate chip cookie

14. Favorite month(s)? December and January

15. Least favorite month(s)? July and August

16. Have you gotten a flu shot? Nope. Never. Don't plan on it either. Years of working with small, germy children has given me a pretty stout immunity.

17. Who's getting on your nerves right now? At this particular moment, not a soul. How rare.

18. Last person to make you sad? Mom called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that her neighbor had passed away. He was such a sweet man.

19. What brand of underwear are you wearing? Cacique by Lane Bryant

20. Coke or Pepsi? Coke

21. Have you been kissed by anyone within the past six months? I've gotten oodles of snotty-faced kisses, some quick pecks from my oldest children and a few real good ones from the youngest child. Oh yeah, the husband has thrown in a few token smacks, too.

22. Last person to make you laugh? Kinley - I was tickling her until she lost her breath. I am inherently cruel when it comes to tickling babies.

23. What is one thing you can't do, but wish you could? Lose weight and keep it off.

24. Who was the last person you slept in a bed with? My coughing, bony-kneed, horny husband.