Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Wrinkly ol' butts

I was sitting here at my computer playing Collapse and Abby was sitting at her desk doing her homework. For some reason this causes an inexplicable and undeniable force to draw the other two children into our quiet workspace. We both shhsh'd them and told them they could stay if they were quiet. Kady sat down at the white board to write her K's over and over and Sam sat next to me to watch me play.

Abby lamented that school sucks. Sam agreed, "Yeah. I hate school. It's so boring." I said, "Now guys, your attitudes make a huge difference in how well school goes. And how well school goes plays a big part in how your life goes as an adult. If you don't do well in school you can't get a good job that makes lots of money so you can buy your kids things and take them to Disney World." I knew I had 'em there because they really can't understand why their father and I can't just hop and plane to Orlando like, tomorrow so they can visit the Mouse and Cinderella and Buzz Lightyear.

He said, "Well, I haven't even decided if I'm going to GET a job when I grow up. There's just really nothing I want to do right now." I said, "Son, it's really not an option to do nothing when you grow up. You have to get a job. If you don't, well, that's called 'being a bum' and no one likes a bum, son." Oh, but this threat of being called a bum didn't phase him. He replied with, "Well, why can't my wife just get a job and I can stay home?" I said, "You know, your wife may want to get a job and that's perfectly fine, but son, you're a man and men work. Period." He sighed. "But who will watch our children if my wife works and I work, too?" I looked over at him with a look of obvious DUH and said, "Hello! Like, maybe their Gramma Kiki!"

"But....uh.... Mom, you'll be all old and stuff."

"My gosh, son, I won't be THAT old!" Of course, this prompted him to giggle. "And besides, son," I said as I rubbed his hair, "you need to get a good job and make lots of money so you can take care of me when I DO get old. I'll need someone to wipe my butt."

Abby looked up from her homework and said, "Lady, I got news for you - old lady poop stinks."

Sam, after he caught his breath from laughing hysterically at the mere mention of poop, said, "And I've got news for you, too! The only butt I'm gonna be wipin' is my own! Not your wrinkly ol' butt!"

So I guess I'll start looking into rest homes now.


Queen Of Cheese said...

Dang! Sam won't be driving us to the casino's when we are old and wrinkly? Guess that leaves Kady and Nati, oh Lord we are in trouble! I just don't see Abby and Bryce hauling us all around in 50 years, I had high hopes for Sam!

GERBEN said...

ROFLMAO! OMG! The laughing! I just keep laughing! Kids are great ain't they?! LMAO!

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