Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Echo! ( echo echo echo )

We here at the Diva Ranch are now on our way to healing. Abby never did come down with the flu and while she had a sinus infection in the midst of everyone else's typhoid, she wasn't too awful sick. Paul and Sam are still coughing and Sam ended up back at the doctor Monday with an ear infection, so they're both on antibiotics. I usually don't let the PA put the kids on antibiotics for an ear infection but since he'd run a fever for 8 days I figured he needed a little kick in the pants.

It's Tornado Week on The Weather Channel. My DVR will be recording all of the hours I can't personally be watching the splendiforously amazing tornado programs they will be airing.

Speaking of weather - Paul's out riding the Harley right now as I type this. Note that it is February 25th.

I heard the weather guy on Fox say we had a chance of snow this weekend.

I'm hoping that the fact that I heard it on Fox means it isn't true.

Last Wednesday Paul went to town to Mr. Ed's barbershop for a $5 haircut. He called me and said, "Hey, I just got a haircut." I was tempted to say "Well, duh. I'd hoped you hadn'tbeen at the strip club this whole time" but I bit my tongue. Then he added, "Oh and by the way....IboughtatrailerbutitwasonlyeighthundreddollarsandnowIcanhaulmytractor!"

I just want to know where he thinks he needs to haul his tractor? Is he going to do some share cropping or something?

The very next day my mom called and asked if I wanted a piano. We're still paying Pops for the GIGANTIC TV we bought from him last year so I knew another couple hundred on a piano was out of the question and I regretfully declined. Then Mom asked, "But what if it was only $35?"

Of course I asked, "What's wrong with it?" She said,"The top four keys don't play, but really Kristin, who plays those top four keys anyway?"

I now have a piano.

Paul is not happy. Every time I play it he turns the volume on the TV up really loud.

I tell him to go haul his tractor somewhere and shut up.

I can still play the Star Wars theme, "The Entertainer" and even managed to plunk out "We've Only Just Begun" the other day. The best moment was when I played "Tomorrow" from Annie and Kady all but knelt down on one knee, waving jazz hands while she sang.

We have been turned over to collections - once again. We quit answering the home phone when they started getting nasty because really, I've had enough nasty in my life these last few weeks with all the snot and germs; I didn't need their pre-written hateful scripts and accusatory tones.

They're getting creative, tough. Today they called to tell us they need to update some important information to our account since our last phone conversation. Funny...the last time we had a "conversation" the only thing missing was the Brooklyn accent and a mobster named Vinnie asking "Do you want I should break both ya knee caps?" I don't think I need to update anything with them at this time. They can wait till the tax refund comes in - just like the electric company and US Cellular is.

Have I mentioned lately just how much I love Facebook?

I know it's dorky, but I can't help it. Tater and I nearly came to blow the other night in a heated MySpace vs. Facebook argument.

I am very protective of my Facebook.

I probably need a therapist.


Going Like Sixty said...

I am so glad you have finally started your retirement planning: Paul as sharecropper and you as Honky-Tonk piano-gal.

Anonymous said...

While I am beyond excited you blogged....did you forget somebody today? Somebody like me? Hmmmm? I even wore my hazmat suit and it's freaking hot! Not hot as in sexy hot but hot as in I've lost 3 pounds staring out my window waiting for your germy family to come see me.

Melessa Gregg said...

One of my co-workers has a new trailer and I've forbidden him from showing it to my husband for fear he will "need" one too. (The co-worker has an actual use for his. We do not.) I tried to avoid antibiotics for Elisa's ear infection too, but today it started to "leak" and I caved. (So gross!) Poor baby! Eventually everyone here will be well.

Stewed Hamm said...

The magic words when dealing with any of those sleazy assholes are "Fair Debt Collection Practices Act." The updating information sounds to me like an especially underhanded way to get around your previously telling them to knock it off. If you give them info, it "renews" the business relationship, and re-starts the clock on any statute of limitations your state has.
Good thing you're gonna get that extra $13 a week, to make all your dreams come true!

Cazzie!!! said...

Gah! Trailors. My hubby has been making trailors left right and centre, driving me mad as it isn't even his JOB!

Pam said...

you are super funny ! But I just recently discovered facebook and love it too

We....the people

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