Friday, December 05, 2008


* Why is it that I have my best hair days on the days I have no plans to leave the house? While I'm sure someday he'll look back and remember fondly about how gorgeous his babysitter's hair was, I just hate it that Nonner's the only one who sees how awesome my hair can be.

* How much money and talking-into do you think it took to get Barbara Streisand to sing "Silent Night"? I mean really.

* My mom buys the kids an ornament every year that most generally has something to do with their current interests. For instance, we have a metric ton of Tinker Bell ornaments because well, the girls really, really like Tink. Sam has a karate dude for the year he started karate and the year he was into Cars prompted the Tow Mater and Lightning McQueen ornaments.

The other day I called my mom to ask if she had bought Ab's ornament yet. She said she had and I asked what she got her. See, Abby's only interest this year is The Pink Skulls of Doom (thanks to Sam's son Chicken for the name - that's what we call them all the time now) AND whining enough thinking she can wear us down into buying her a cell phone. She's not getting a dang cell phone so I think it entirely fitting that she have a skull ornament for the tree. At this suggestion my mother's head nearly exploded and she screeched, "Heavens NO I am NOT buying that child a SKULL ornament! That's....that's....well, it's just sacreligious!"

My argument? "Mom, it's not sacreligious. Jesus had a skull."

* I took some great pics of the kids last weekend and am planning on framing some and was planning on using them in my Christmas cards. However, since they got their skull shirts early thanks to 2StupidDogs, I'm considering taking some more of them in their skull shirts and using them instead. I wonder how far the screams from my mom's house will travel....

* The other night Cousin Courtney had called to tell me about the two gigantic, bright stars in the sky not really being stars but Jupiter and Venus. I hollered at the kids to follow me out into the yard so we could look at them and ooh and ahh and stuff. Just as we stepped onto the front porch this HUMONGOUS falling star fell right in front of us. It was honestly the biggest falling star I've seen in my life, which a bright trail behind it and everything. What happened next was a big ol' mess of screaming and falling and crying and laughing.

Just a few nights before that, Abby, Paul and I had watched the movie Signs with Mel Gibson. Okay, wait...that made it sound like we watched it with Mel Gibson, but I assure you we didn't. Anyway, the movie is about aliens who invade earth, apparently to take it over and while they're getting ready to invade they make crop circles and stuff. It's one dang scary movie - the suspense is brutal. So when Abby saw the falling star and subsequent trail she apparently thought we were being invaded and let out this ear-piercing, blood-curdling scream, which scared the poo right outta her little brother, who turned around to run back in the house and plowed right over his ltitle sister, who landed on the ground on her backside, and her falling knocked Sam off-kilter and he fell, too. This domino effect of confusion happened in about 5 seconds, but I watched it all in slow motion. Then I laughed till I needed a pantyliner.

* The same night we watched Signs we also watched Mean Girls with Lindsey Lohan. Okay, again, no, Lindsay Lohan did not sit on my couch and eat popcorn and watch herself in a movie. Anyway, that movie just cracked me up. It just reminded me so much of how high school really was. Cliques and groups and popularity issues....gah, so glad that's over.

That being said, I am astounded how many dang people from high school I have reconnected with since I've gotten a Facebook page. Just about every day I either find someone new or they find me. Just this morning I got a friend request and it said we had one friend in common and that friend-in-common was a girl I was in Girl Scouts with and well, I just figured she'd decided to add me because of her. I confirmed her and went about my merry way. I mean, there are a couple of people on my friends list I have never met in my life, but they read my blog, so I added them. Kind of like how Zoot and DadGoneMad have me as friends even though I'm really just pretty much a fan/stalker. Not that I'm saying I have fans OR stalkers because okay, let's face it, I'm just not that popular. Yet.

ANYway, turns out she and I were in Band together and I like, totally went with her brother in Junior High and he was the first guy I ever held hands with and oh wow, she's like, in law school and stuff. *blink blink* Oh my gosh, I just channeled my 15 year old self.

* If I ever volunteer to direct the church Christmas plays again, tell me to not be stupid. Tell me about how no one shows up to practice and how they all repeatedly say, "I can't do this - I look stoooooooopid!" and tell me how my own daughter is the very last one to memorize her lines and honest to gosh, just tell me to take up cross-stitching if I need something to do that bad.

* We try to drive through the Park of Lights every few nights, not only to vote (display #46 - just for the record) but to check to make sure everything's still lit. A friend informed us we had a light out the other night and fixed it for us, but we don't want to rely on the kindness of our friends to take care of any issues.

The other night after church we drove through again. The church is literally right across the road from the park, so any time we're at church we go through. It just kind of makes sense. It had been really windy that day and the coffee kettle and tin pan had nearly blown off the "table" in the display. I asked Sam to get out and fix everything. He gladly jumped out and arranged everything back to normal. He turned and was heading back to the car when he stopped, turned around and went back to pet the possum sitting next to the can of USDA luncheon meat. You just have to wonder what the person in the car behind us thought.


Anonymous said...

One year, instead of a star on the tree, we put a life-size plastic skull. We put a Santa hat on it and small, red glass balls in it's eye sockets. My Mother-in-law about shit a cat when she saw that. She was convinced we were forcing satanism into the holiday season and were damaging her grandchildren.
As for reconnecting with people from High School. My favorite quote was from a twitter posted on Defective Yeti, "Thanks to MySpace,I've been added as a friend with half a dozen people who couldn't have cared less about me in High School."

Anonymous said...

YOU MUST TAKE A PIC OF THE LUNCHEON MEAT!!!! I'm sure Marilyn and I can email that pic to every USDA person we know and get a giggle or two! And maybe on the nice list for a change lol!

Cap'n Neurotic said...

It is kind of weird just how many Wyandottians have popped up on Facebook out of the blue recently. Some have been of the "wow, haven't talked to him/her in forever, cool!" variety, others have been of a "gee, I probably said ten words to them total while in school, wonder if we'd have anything more to talk about now" variety.

We....the people

Originally published in The Miami News-Record, July 2020 Everything is different now. I’m not just talking about masks and social distancing...