Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Fifth in a series

A reader, Kathy, asked just what the heck Fifth Disease, or "Slaps" is, so because the whole house is asleep and it's just barely past 9pm and I'm bored and can't sleep because of this lovely cough, I will oblige.

All You Ever Wanted To Know Abouth Fifth's Disease:

* Fifth Disease is very common in children, although grown-ups can get it, too. Just another perk of parenthood.

* Sometimes called "Slaps" because the rash that appears makes the cheeks very red, as if you've been slapped. Virus or domestic violence? You be the judge.

* You spread the disease by coughing and sneezing. And possibly small trolls and leprechauns, although the government is trying to keep that under wraps in Area 52.

* By the time the "slaps" appear on your cheeks, you're not contagious anymore. All the more reason to lock yourself away in a cabin in the woods with only your high-speed internet to keep you company.

* The virus is a strain of the parvovirus. I hear the puppy hospital is cheaper the the people hospital.

* The actual virus is called erythema infectiosum. Not to be confused with a magical spell from a Harry Potter book.

* It is called "Fifth Disease" because it was originally fifth on the list of recognized childhood illnesses that caused rashes. In this case, it was good to be fifth. You don't ever hear them call the measles "First Disease," do ya?

This PSA was brought to you by Impending Insomnia and it's partner corporation, THE FLU.


Jax said...

Hoss actually had Fifths disease when he was two....It was a lil freaky but now I wish I had taken pictures of him because it was seriously the prettiest rash I had ever seen (being a nurse makes you get all excited when you see rashes lol) He looks as tho he was covered (arms and legs in pink tribal tattoos! It was sooooo pretty!
Folks also refer to the rash as lace....I actually found the rash on the internet late one night...so I called the dermatologist office the next morning and said...Ummmm we need in today Hoss has Fifths Disease!..they laughed at me...but I was right, of course there was no treatment except keep him away from pregnant women for six weeks...but he never acted different, except when I made everyone stare at his skin...It's a wonder he isn't more warped then he is!!

Nina said...

I stumbled on your blog from the BlogOklahoma site. I like your writing style. Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Man, this sickness is out of hand. I hope that you guys feel better soon!

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