Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Uninspired Wednesday

Okay, okay, so I haven't blogged in like what, four days? Well, it's my birthday week and I've been busy. I'm old now, you have to be patient with me, ya know.

Because Monday was a holiday, all of us government employees had the day off. Originally the kids were scheduled out of school as well, but because of the ice storm in December, Monday was their first makeup day. That left Tater and I with no kids, no work and it was my birthday! Ohhhhhh the gambling we had planned. We were going to leave as soon as the bus whisked our kidlets off to school. Paul was originally off as well, but now that he's a supervisor that means his schedule is just a suggestion and he's subject to random acts of work at all hours of the day, any day of the week. In years past, the birthday rounds were made by four or five of us - Mom, Paul, me, Tater and Jon in various combinations. Jon's not running with us these days due to that pesky divorce thing. Paul works all the dang time. Mom's off gambling these days due to the fact she's dating a pastor, so the usual gambling party has been knocked down to two sinners, me and Tater.

When I turned on Kady's light at 6:30 Monday morning she sat up and with this look of utter panic on her face, croaked out, "Momma, MY FWOAT HUUUUUUUTS!! I can't SWAWWWOWWWW!!!!" I held my hands out to her and her hot little body tumbled off that top bunk into my arms. I grabbed the phone as I walked to the medicine cabinet and as I stuck that thermometer under Kady's arm I called Tater to tell her the birthday run was off. But because she's the best sister ever, she insisted that she stay with Kady and that I go ahead as planned. I insisted that no, she wasn't going to sit with my germy streppy kid while I cavorted the area casinos. She said, "I'm coming out to watch Kady, go get ready, I'm on my way," then she hung up. I took a shower, called the doctor's office to leave a desperate message pleading for more antibiotics and no office visit and then asked if they could prescribe some prophylactically for Sam as well, because apparently Strep is more contagious than Typhoid.

I was going to be strong and gently tell Tater no when she arrived on my doorstep, but the woman brought donuts! How can I form a coherent thought when she's waving a box of donuts in my face?

I left my house at 9:30 with a donut in one hand and a cup of sweet tea in the other, a purse full of money (figuratively, of course) and an itch to gamble my face off.

First stop, The Casino That Shall Not Be Named, where my darling husband was working on a day he was supposed to be off. I didn't see him anywhere, so I went on to the desk where you declare your birthdayness and then they let you play Plinko. Unfortunately there was no Bob Barker, but Plinko I played and won $5 free play. Guess how long it took me to lose that hefty amount? Yeah, about 2.2 seconds because I was playing Monopoly and it takes all of 1.25 spins to lose $5 on that game. Paul's been working so many hours he hadn't had time to go shopping for me, so before he left for work that morning he gave me $80. I decided to use some of that to continue playing Monopoly. I had it up to $66 and played it down to $60 and decided to take the money and run when a guy sat down and said, "Oh, don't leave! It's no fun to play this by yourself! My name's Ron, let's play Monopoly!" and I said, "Uhhhh, name's Kristin and it's my birthday and I'm still under the spell that those dratted donuts put me under this morning and yes, Ron, I will play Monopoly with you." Oh yeah, we played us some Monopoly. I cashed that puppy out at $200. I think Ron was the Monopoly Angel, sent to me to bestow birthday goodness. I sent Paul a text while I was in the cashout line and told him I was in the casino and the proud owner of $200. Funny, he appeared out of nowhere in like, three seconds. We visited a bit, he introduced me to a bunch of his new guards and -- okay, get this -- as I was leaving he said, "Okay, have a good day! Good luck! I love you!" Right in front of his crew. That was a better birthday present than the $80 or being visited by the Ron the Monopoly Angel.

I lost the $10 that the Lucky Turtle gave me. The Lucky Turtle isn't so lucky these days, in my opinion.

At Grand Lake Casino I got $25 free play because they were apparently just giving away $5 for the heck of it in addition to the $20 for my birthday. I won $50 on KoolKats, cashed out and promptly threw that away, put in a $20 of my own and cashed out with $50 again. Then I donated it all back. I'm stupid that way.

At Bordertown I got $20 - $10 for my birthday and $10 for my anniversary. I totally didn't know they celebrated anniversaries there. Paul's got $10 coming to him as well if he can stop working long enough to go before the end of the month. I lost their $20 and another $20 of my own.

At Eastern Shawnee I lost their $10, $10 of my own, but two cashiers said my earrings were cool. High Winds Casino gave me $10 and 10% off in the restaurant and I gave them their $10 right back by way of the Little Green Men machine.

I stopped at Stables and got my $15 restaurant voucher, went to Miami Tribe where I lost their $10 in a quick hurry and as I left Miami Tribe I walked out into sleet. Bleh. I called Tater to tell her that I had one casino left and then I'd be home. She said not to hurry, the school kids were home and they were having snack. I went to Quapaw where I played their $10, won $40 and then lost the remainder of the money Paul gave me. Tater called to tell me that Kady's fever was 102.5 and I left the casino and drove home in the not-quite-rain-not-quite-sleet.

Kady had taken a four hour nap that afternoon, so I figured there was no way she'd sleep that night, but by 8:00 she was out like a light. She woke me up at 5 am yesterday, complaining that she couldn't swallow, her knees ached and she wanted a snuggle. I hate strep throat. She did nothing more than watch a few cartoons, whine and cry yesterday morning. She slept about an hour before I had to bundle her up and take her to Mom while I took Ab to the doctor. She had trouble getting comfortable last night, had a few fever nightmares during the night and let me just say I'm sure looking forward to her getting better because this sleeping sitting up on the couch with her is beyond old now.

Ab had her big 11 year old checkup yesterday. We talked about periods, moods, hormones - okay, the PA and I talked about that stuff, Abby just sat there ignoring us and looking at a five year old copy of Asthma Today. Then she got shots - four of them. My kids are totally cool with getting shots. They know they have to have them, they know they get ice cream afterwards and they also know that I'm not going to tolerate a fit in the doctor's office. I couldn't tell you that last time any of my kids cried over shots. Well, Ab broke that record yesterday. Bless her heart, she SO wanted to be tough, but the first one in her left arm was the Tetanus booster which burns like a mofo. Then the first one in her right arm was the Gardasil, which they say also burns like a mofo. She got boosted on her Varicella and Tetanus, started her Gardasil series and got the meningitis vaccine they're recommending for 11-15 year olds because apparently 11-15 year olds suck face more than any other age group. Yay. So glad I have one in that age group. Sitting at the Sonic later, scarfing down her Oreo Blast Abby said she was totally over the shots and could I please not tell anyone she cried. Yup, sure. No, I won't blog it. Oops.

I have been pretty torn on the whole Gardasil thing. While I certainly don't want my kids having premarital sex because for one thing, I had premarital sex and wow, talk about a mistake, I also know that they might. Even if I don't want them to. Yeah, I did do it - it was that whole rebellion thing I had going on at the time. My dad was a music minister in a Southern Baptist church, it was shoved down our throats that we would NOT have sex before we were married. Okay, tell me I won't/can't do something and I am going to run out and do it just to spite you. I'm better now, but at 15, 16, 17, 18......I was angry. Sex was how I showed my dad that he didn't have control over me. There were issues there, you betcha. There still are. (Oh, you'd noticed?) So while I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes I made, I am smart enough to realize that they are probably going to want to rebel at some point. I hope that rebellion comes in the form of blue hair and black fingernails and maybe some bashed in mailboxes and not in the form of sex in a backseat with an idiot, but who knows. I also am smart enough to know that teenagers are stupid. Very, very stupid. Therefore, I want my daughters to be protected from their own stupidity. If I can give that to them in the form of a vaccine, I'm doing it. If only I could vaccinate them against stupidity and rebellion in general, I'd probably have an easier time with them growing up. *sigh* Parenting is hard.

Oh wow, did I digress.

So anyway, I haven't worked a day this week and frankly, I miss it. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying hanging out in my sweats today, but I really do enjoy working now. If I'm here I feel obligated to clean and do laundry and that's just not much fun. At least at work there is no laundry. Kady's doing better today. Right now she's playing with Play-Doh and singing a song about "getting sick and if you don't behave you gonna end up in Heaven wif Jesus." Hey, I don't know where that came from. Oh, the chorus goes, "Don't wowwy about goin' to's pwetty fun up dere." She still sounds like she's got a wad of bubble gum in the back of her throat, but she's not running a fever today. Paul's scheduled off tomorrow so he's going to have to play daddy daycare tomorrow if the fever comes back because I am SO going to work tomorrow. Because they um, need me and stuff. Yeah.

The other day the kids were coloring and Abby held hers up and said, "So, what do you think of that?" TotOne said, "Uhhhh.....I don't get it." Abby replied, "You're not supposed to right off. It's an obstacle collusion." Easter Bunny is totally bringing her a dictionary and a thesaurus this year. And maybe a Word a Day calendar for good measure.


Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!!! Why didn't I tell them it was my birthday at the casino???? Dangit!

Anonymous said...

aaahhhh....optical illusion... I so did not get that at first!! Maybe I need a dictionary!!!

Hillbilly Mom said...

I am OH SO ENVIOUS of you driving willy-nilly-ly amongst a plethora of casinos. I can't even catch the old people's bus to Harrah's.

Happy Birthday. Watch out for Steven.

Kellyology said...'s all coming together. You're a fellow Aquarian. See, this is why I love your blog! I hope you had a good one.

Sam said...

I am very happy to hear that she got the Gardasil shot. Think about it this way: what if her future husband has the HPV virus? Don't you want her protected? It's not just teenagers in backseats that can get it. And saving her life is a good thing! If Chicken had a vagina he'd totally get the shot!

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