Friday, May 15, 2009

Just Another Oklahoma Springtime

Wednesday Paul and I had watched TWC all day long and we knew we were possibly in for some severe weather that night. During the day we double-checked the supplies in the 'fraidy hole - important things like bottled water, blankets, towels and a chair for me because the week before when the kids and I ended up underground before the morning bus even ran I had to stand and I wasn't really happy about that.

Before I go any further just let me say that my husband, while he most of the time has the best of intentions, sometimes forgets that his wife is fat. He proudly came in the house while I was digging for flashlight batteries and held at arm's length what looked like two bundles of pipe and canvas. "Look! Chairs!" he said. I looked at him and said, "I don't think so, dude." He had found his hunting stool doohickeys in the barn and thought they would be GREAT for the cellar since they take up very little space, but what he forgot was that my rear-end does NOT take up very little space - in fact, it takes up a very LOT of space. Shortly after that I took my very large, space-taking-up lawnchair down into the cellar so my large, space-taking-up hiney would be comfy.

Okay, so on with the events of the night.... We were all happily watching LOST, keeping an eye on the radar and TWCi Twitter updates, but otherwise enjoying the confusion that is LOST. We had had the kids pack their 'fraidy hole bags early on because there is nothing worse than the twister bearing down on you and your youngest is bawling because she can't find her woobie and her Nintendo DS. Trust me on this. The NOAA radio politely informed us we were under a tornado watch. Then a thunderstorm warning. We could see on the radar in the corner of the TV screen that the tornado warnings were moving our way, but the storms were moving so slow we really didn't react too much. Then the NOAA radio started going off for the counties close to us. It was then we had the kids put on their shoes and go to the restroom. I really thought we'd finish LOST, the storms would fizzle and Tater and the tots would go home and life would go on - because that's the way it always goes.

Not that night. 15 minutes from the butt-puckering ending of LOST my phone then Tater's phone rang with our weather alert ringtones. We simultaneously opened our phones and simultaneously said "Oh, crap." Then the NOAA radio went off. We hollered at the kids to grab their bags and realized Paul was nowhere to be found. Because he is a redneck and he was out in the yard. Which, truthfully, is where Tater and I would've been had LOST not been on. I hollered for Paul and the fun began. I have to give all five kids serious props because no one panicked, no one freaked, no one questioned, they just grabbed their bags and followed Paul out the front door. It wasn't raining then and really, the wind wasn't even blowing all that much. We could see lightning and hear thunder, but even that wasn't all that close. It was weird running to the cellar on such a nice night!

See how happy everyone was?

(See how shiny my sister was?)

(She wasn't happy about this picture, by the way, but hey, it's my blog. If she would update her blog she'd have opportunity to put unflattering pictures of me there... HINT HINT.)

Sam was in the corner, TotTwo was hiding behind my chair and TotOne was apparently on the verge of being Vulcan. Just a few more centimeters and her fingers would've formed the appropriate "Live Long and Prosper" greeting.

Abby didn't have her hair properly straightened, nor did she have any makeup on and therefore refused any pictures be taken of her.

Ptthhht. Divas.

After we got the kids settled in I started having hot flashes. Not because of menopause, no, because of the oppressive humidity and the fact we had eight bodies crammed into a 6x8 concrete box in the ground. Since it had yet to begin raining we decided to leave the door open and keep an eye on things because again, we're rednecks. The NOAA radio went off again, updating the tornado warning, the phones started chirping....and we heard roaring. It was the eeriest thing I've ever heard in my life. There was relatively little wind at our place but either we heard a tornado roaring in the distance or it was just some kick-butt straight-line winds. Eeriest. Thing. Ever.

We kept the door open until the rain started and whew it got hot in a hurry once we were closed in. Oh, but don't worry that I overheated. Since I was the pampered one with the big fancy chair, I got to sit right under the dripping door.

It really didn't take us all that long to get good and bored.

Paul was texting me. Me. As in his wife who was sitting next to him under the dripping door.

Tater's tots have WAY more stamina than my kids. Kady and Sam eventually crashed. TotTwo just entertained us with his flatulence.

Really, there are few things cuter than a sleeping Kadybug.

And here's my big, strong, protective husband risking life and limb to check the conditions outside. I wouldn't have cared if it had sucked us all right out at that point I was so hot. I'm telling you, menopause is going to suck. Hard.

Rumor has it we're under the gun for some strong to severe storms again tonight, but I'm not too worried. Wednesday, TWC's Dr. Greg Forbes gave us a 6 out of 10 on his Tor:Con tornado probability scale, but today we only got a 2.

However, I didn't take my lawnchair out of the cellar. Ya know....just in case.


Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

I couldn't handle living in Oklahoma or any other tornado-prone state, for that matter. We get our fair share, but y'all seem to always have them. Nothing puckers my butt quicker than a tornado warning. Have you ever seen one? They've hit close by me before, but I've never actually seen one. A small one tore the roof off my school when I was in 3rd grade, but we were on the lowest level of a 3 story building, so I didn't really experience much more than some roaring, and I never saw the thing. Yep, if I lived in OK I'd have to have a concrete box in the ground.

Jill of All Trades said...

Gosh I remember days in storm shelters when I was a child. We don't do that anymore, don't live close to one anymore.

Anonymous said...

One good thing about living in the city. When tornadoes hit here, we can see where they are on TV down to the cross streets! If it's not on our street, we're not getting in the closet. For me, though, that might be the only good thing about living in the city. :)

Cedric said...

On the 9th, the straight line winds dropped an 80 ft. oak tree on our house. Now I have a hole in the roof and a flattened carport. The best part is, I get to deal with the insurance company. I'd rather be sodomized with a broken wine bottle than deal with an insurance company. But, gods know I've given them enough cash in the last 13 years, they're gonna cough up some dough.

Mommy Needs a Xanax said...

BTW I like the boy's hairdo.

Okie Rednecks said...

ok you worry more about the weather, unless I am driving to BA, but how do you get the weather texts!

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