I have been to two of the Okie Blogger Round-ups (okay, so there have only been two...) and have met some awesome people both times. The first year Tater and I worked the table at the door (I mean we sat at the table, we did not dance on it) and Melessa introduced herself then proceeded to just all kinds of unload about Abby's at-that-time teacher who she had called "Dude" in class and the dude (heh) kind of went off. It was a wonderful way to meet her and we ended up hanging out pretty much the whole day. She also sat with Tater, Paul and I at last year's round-up (and was later joined at our table by Shannon). (Nevermind that I sat in the corner and just wanted all night for someone to say, "No one puts Diva in the corner" but alas, no one did...)
Last year I also got to visit a bit with Tyson and Jeane from the WynnBlog and the WynnCast. Folks, you need to go listen to their old podcasts and prepare to think, be amused, chuckle a little and if you listen to the right ones you'll even hear them say my name! I know! It's exciting! They keep saying they're going to have me on the show and I keep promising snickerdoodles, but my invitation must keep getting lost in the mail.
Of course, the first year's Round-Up is where I first met Brian and Monty. They are both awesome. Just awesome. Brian and I had grand plans to drink apple martinis together, but the bar only served hard liquor and beer, so he bought me a beer and we danced a dance and it was good times. Monty just entertained us all with her charming personality and flamboyant ability to bring on the party. Not flamboyant like she wore feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there and danced the merengue and the cha-cha, but Monty just has this way of making it feel like a party. I say that like we hang out all the time - and we don't unfortunately - but seriously, even though we compete with each other every year in the Best Humor Blog category, I heart her with a big puffy purple heart.
And speaking of Monty - here's where the REAL meat of this post gets gristly - it appears she and I are victims - victims of a vicious smear campaign run by a heinous Oklahoman with vengeance in his heart and an agenda.
An agenda of what?
Oh let's see.....apparently he thinks I have enough redneck pull that I can have Walmart stores shut down at will. Now, I am from the Walmart side of the tracks, indeed, but even I do not have the power to shut down stores. And why would I? Where else would I buy my GreatValue brand food if I started having stores shut down all willy-nilly? And the store he refers to is in SAND SPRINGS! I don't think I've ever been to Sand Springs!
He also says I didn't help him when his home was in danger of becoming burned to a crisp on the vast Oklahoma prairie, but in my defense, he's a Y2K survivor so that means he's all secretive and conspiracy theorist-y and won't even tell anyone where he lives! How can I help out a fellow Okie when he's in hiding? Huh? He's gotta be available to help, ya know? No one ever made any friends by staying all holed up in their house, Cris....I should know.
This post? Well, this one I can't even begin to be snarky about this one. I just wanna know where he got our family pictures....
He told me in an email (which I saved to use as evidence just in case anything unfortunate happens to me) that his blog looks like it was designed by a third grader. Hmmm....looks like Cris and Kathie Lee Gifford have a lot in common. Child labor is just wrong, people. Just wrong. Remember that.
This is not over. In fact, I think it's only begun. And I think that Opprobrious guy is going conspiracy theorist on me again. Or maybe he's just underhanded and shifty. Or MAYBE he's trying to make me go all conspiracy theory paranoid.... hmmmm..... Regardless, I think he and Monty have been talking - I just got an email from Monty and included in the text are the words "sleep with one eye open" so that big puffy purple heart that I love Monty with? It may well be used to smother her instead.
my poor self from these vicious smear campaign tactics, go check out some Oklahoma blogs here, here and here and consider becoming an Oklahoma blogger yourself so you can particpate next year. Oh, you're not from Oklahoma? Well, as Miss Wisabus says - you should move. Here. Not somewhere else. Duh.