Thursday, November 08, 2007

She said what?

This morning I was trying to get ready for work an hour ahead of when I usually go in, so I was flat-ironing my hair in like, warp speed. I had asked Sam to make KD a piece of toast for breakfast and he, the child who wouldn't speak to me last night because he was still angry I wouldn't let him skip school, was quite amicable about it. And KD was so polite and thanked him for making her breakfast. I should've known it wouldn't last long.

I know all siblings fight, but for some reason, Sam and KD fight worse than any two siblings I've seen since Tater and I were kids. Now, Tater and I were quite the arguers and I guess there was many a night Mom would go to bed and cry, wondering what she'd done wrong to make the two of us hate each other so much. Some might say that my two youngest children's penchant for arguing is that wonderful thing called "Payin' for your raisin'" and I don't mean dried fruit. I mean paybacks are heck.

So it wasn't long after I heard the toaster pop up and the knife scraping butter onto the toast that I also heard the fighting begin. She mocked him. He shook his butt at her. She stuck her tongue out. He acted like he was going to punch her. I try to ignore most of it, but sometimes it's hard to do that, especially when the boy holding her Baby Alive hostage is causing her to screech like she's being skinned alive. This morning I was so rushed, I was choosing to ignore most of it.

I heard Kady giving her bubby attitude and then I heard this, "Weww, Bubby. I bet you don't know dis." and then I heard Sam's reply, "Hmph. I bet I do!" You know how it goes. Usually the conversation to follow involves someone being a poopoohead and someone always cries.

But this morning, however, I heard my five year old say, "Okay, Mistew Smawtypants.....what does 'fastidious' mean? Huh? Betcha don't know." If I had been in the room, I guarantee you she had her arms crossed across her chest and she was bobbing her head. Then, of course, came Sam's snarky reply, "I don't have a clue what 'fastibbius' means and you don't either! So hmph!"

"Uh huh. Yuh huh I do too know what it means, BUBBY! It means 'to be picky or choosy' SO THERE!"

Footsteps were rapidly coming my way down the hall. "MAWWWWWWWWM! What does 'fastibbius' mean?" Hiding my grin I replied, "Well, your little sister was right. It means to be picky or choosy. Sorry little dude."

He drooped up the hall only to enter the dining room and find his little sister waiting to pounce on him again. "Okay, Bubby. Here's another one: puh-wethowa. Puh-wethowa means 'a lot.' And 'migwation' means 'to twavel to bettew weathew.' Oh! Oh! And 'emuwate' means TO COPY! So HA HA on you!"

And I really wanted to laugh because she was so dang sure of herself and I wanted to laugh even harder because Sam was struck totally speechless by his little sister's mad vocabulary skillz. But I could hold back the laughing no longer when Abby came into the bathroom and said, "Do you hear that? Do you hear the words that child is saying? What are they feeding them in Kindergarten??"


ummmhello said...

Oh thank you!!! Now I see that my 4 and 9 year old are absolutely normal. Well, at least now I can cancel the therapist appointment! (For me, not them. Their fighting is making ME crazy)

Stewed Hamm said...

So I guess when the kid's a walking "Enhance your word power" test, you're well past the point when you can spell things out that you don't want her to know.

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