Friday, November 09, 2007

Hello, my name is not Steve

Hi, my name is Kristin D. Hoover, but you can call me Mom, Momma, Kiki, Aunt Kiki or Your Majesty. Diva will do, too. Never in my life have I bungee jumped and frankly, I have no intention of ever doing so. The one person who can drive me nuts is my darling husband of nearly 15 years. My high school was good ol' Wyandotte High School. When I'm nervous my teeth itch. The last song I listened to was Glamorous by Fergie. If I were to get married right now it would be to someone that my husband really liked because they're going to have to get along with each other, I guess. My hair is tolerable for the first time in my life. Thank God for Chi. When I was 4 I was absolutely adorable. Last Christmas was the first Christmas without Papa and kind of melancholy. l'd be 'et for a tater. When I look down I see my rather splendid rack that is splendid thanks to little plastic pillows of air that hoist the girls into a position that is much prettier than their natural state of perpetual droopiness. The happiest recent event was finding out that we can have one page of notes on our Macro final. I nearly cried when he told us. If I were a character on LOST I'd be whiny and intolerable and they'd end up burying me alive in the sand or Michael would end up shooting me. By this time next year I hope to be gainfully employed in a job that I love. My current mood is anxious for some reason. I have a hard time understanding Algebra and princples of Macroeconomics. There's these girls that are mean girls and I thought we all got over that in like, 9th grade, but oh wait, I guess that was just me. If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be Mom. I want to buy some perky boobs. I plan to visit Disney World in 2008. If you spent the night at my house we'd watch movies and eat popcorn and fix each other's hair and giggle and drink lots of soda and squeal a lot and talk about boys. I mean, men. Because talking about boys is just creepy at my age. The world could do without Algebra. The most recent thing I've bought myself is a new watch because I seem to have lost mine. The most recent thing someone else bought me is an ink pen. I bought her WhiteOut last week and this week she bought me a pen. I like her a lot.
My middle name is Dawn.In the morning I drink enough caffeine to kill a small elephant and it's still not enough. Last night I was sitting in my Macro class as clueless as I am every week. There's this guy I know that drives me nuts and not in a good way. If I was an animal I'd be a spider monkey or a ferret on crack. A better name for me would be Kristin D. Hoover, Famous Author and Spokeswoman for the National Society of Obliterating Algebra from the Face of the Earth Forever, better known as the NSOAFEF. Tomorrow I am helping my sister unpack the 40 gazillion boxes that are currently holding the contents of her house. Tonight I am going to a hairbow party to make GIGANTIC hair bows for my two daughters because I will continue to put big bows in their hair until they are married and their husbands make me stop.I wish this semester was over and I had about 2 weeks to do nothing but clean house and do some counted cross-stitch.

5 comments:

Cap'n Neurotic said...

Well, that was . . . interesting.

As for your Lost supposition, I maintain that if you were whiny and intolerable, you wouldn't be shot by Michael -- you would BE Michael.

/Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalt!

ummmhello said...

First off, you give me hope that I can one day reign in my ADD :) Second - I'm either dyslexic or plain stupid, because as I was reading I kept thinking, "What the hell is a Marco class? Is that some cute cabana boy type teacher?" Then I slapped myself in the head and read it again. M A C R O .... yeah. Uh-uh.

Elizabeth said...

on our way to the mall tonight I was expounding on my theory that the world would be a better place if all poles were coated in glitter and tied with bows. Cait quit bows...they aren't dark and demenetd and Cait is dark and demented. I liked bows. Oh, and I got me some of those mean girls too. Mine are actually leftover from 9th grade and while I was under the impression we'd all matured and moved on to glittered telephone poles...they were busy remindeing me why I called them all of those names in my diary way back in 9th grade

CJ said...

I still have a big bag of ribbons from my big hair bow days. I still throw one in my hair now and then. I think I'm too old, but I don't really care!

Stewed Hamm said...

The only poles with glitter that I know about aren't exactly what the men gathered around them are there to see...