Sunday, November 26, 2006

The other 41

It's only taken me a week to get to it ......

41 more things about me:

1. Christmas tree: pine or cedar?
Plastic. Right outta the box it came in from Wal*Mart.

2. Name two dumb things you did as a kid.
There was a huge hill down past DeLisa's house that lead straight to the river bottom. De and I would sit back from the top of that hill and start pedalling like we were being chased by the devil. When we flew past the top of that hill, we'd put our feet up on the handlebars and if we were feeling particularly stupid, we'd raise our hands in the air. It's a wonder we weren't smashed to bits on that hill.

As a kid, I didn't do much stupid stuff. I was very, very nerdily cautious. The bike thing was something I'd done so many times that I didn't realize how stupid and dangerous it was until I look back now and swear my children will never do something like that.

3. What foods did your mom used to make that you will never, ever cook?
Occasionally Papa would get a hankering for beef tongue and Mom, like a good daughter, would boil it up for him. Now, I love my dad and all, but I will never boil a beef tongue for him. Mom would also always make brussel sprouts and asparagus and I HATE them both - I have never even had a can of either in my house.

4. Describe the place you go to in your head when you need to calm down.
I don't do this - mainly because I am never calm.

5. Have you ever seen a ghost, or something you can't explain?
Yes. When DeLisa lived in a creepy rock house in Wyandotte, we were "chased" up the stairs by a ghost, who made it to the top of the stairs before us and slammed the door shut. We screamed like we were being mutilated. And while I haven't ever seen her, I swear to you there is an old woman who inhabits this house with us. She's ornery, too. And finally, because you don't quite have enough information yet to have me committed, when I was a junior in high school there was some big hubbub about lights in the sky around the area. One night, in hopes of seeing something, my boyfriend, Tater and I sat on a blanket in the front yard, our eyes glued to the skies. It was nearly time for Brad to go home and we were going to start packing up, when about 2 miles away, a light rose up over the treeline. It hovered there for a few seconds then did that whole sci-fi movie, move like it's going to fly away and then disappear because it went so fast. Yeah. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. I know Tater will back me up.

6. If money and image didn't matter, what would you do for a living?
Write, write, write. Wait, I'm planning on doing this anyway - and money really does matter. I gotta feed those kids, ya know! This might work out to be a problem.....

7. Did you ever fall off a horse and get right back on?
I'm terrified of horses.

8. What name did you call a sibling that was sure to start a fight?
If I called Tater a baby, the fight was on.

9. Describe the events surrounding your first alcoholic drink.
Mom, Tater and I had gone to Joplin to the mall to shop for me a Prom dress. We saw a group of my friends and they asked if I could go run around with them. Mom gave me $5 because we said we'd probably stop for a soda or something. Instead of soda, we bought liquor. Then we played this hilarious game called Get The Nerdy Girl Obliterated. I was the Nerdy Girl in the game. We all stood in a row, me at the end. The bottle was in a brown paper bag and everyone had to drink and pass the bottle on. Since I was at the end of the line I had to finish to bottle. Those guys were drinking A LOT so I figured there would be nothing left. Not only was I nerdy, but incredibly stupid - they weren't drinking. When that bottle got to me it was nearly full and I chugged the entire bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill. Ohhhh how drunk I was. Crying drunk. Then, to top off the whole thing, I had Jerry take me home. Instead of propping me up against the doorframe and speeding off, he was chivalrous enough to escort me in. I busted open the back door and announced in a loud, slurry voice, "MOM. I'MMMMM DRUNK." I think the corker of this whole story, the true testament to what a horrible kid I was, was that this all happened on the day my dad moved out. My mom had just that day become a divorcee' and single mother and her eldest child came in so altered she couldn't walk.

10. Have you ever had a wild animal as a pet?
A ground squirrel. It had gotten caught in a mousetrap in the garage and had broken its leg. Dad splinted its leg with a popsicle stick. Took us awhile to convince it to go when it was better. I think we girls cried.

11. Do you have a deep, dark, secret?
Yes. Several. And they shall remain so deep and dark and secretive that they will eventually grow mold. Or turn into diamonds.

12. Would you ever shoot a deer?
My name clearly states that I am a redneck. I could not hold this title if I were not willing to kill a deer. Now, the diva part of it all comes into play when I say I refuse to eat said deer.

13. Do you return money if you get too much change?
Depends on how far away payday is.

14. What puzzles you?

My mother.

15. How do/did you act toward a person you have/had a crush on?
Ugh, I used to be a total stalker. I mean, like if I did that kind of stuff today, I'd have restraining orders slapped all over my pathetic self. There is this one guy that I wish I had the guts to apologize to over how I acted around him. He and I ended up at the same birthday party last March and the look in his eyes when he realized who I was just screamed fear. I think if I had talked to him he'd have screamed like a little girl. I am so embarrassed.

16. What makes you cry?
Pretty much everything.

17. What's the best bargain you ever bought at a yard sale?
I don't yard sale much, but I did get a copy of Little Black Sambo for Mom at an auction for $20. The auctioneer told me I stole it.

18. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?
Does a sewing bee really sew? If you plant birdseed does a bird grow? How far down does a kitchen sink? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? The world may never know.

19. If nobody is watching, would you run a stop sign?
A few weeks ago when Kady was having that really bad asthma attack, I ran a stoplight. It was 3am, there was no one around and I made sure it was safe before I made that decision.

20. Do you believe in Hell?
Yes. And the handbasket that will take me there.

21. What material possession do you value most?
Pictures of my kids

22. Which day is better...Friday or Sunday?
Definitely Friday. On Sunday, I cry a lot.

23. Do you read a book more than once?
Yes. I've read The Catcher in the Rye more times than I could count. I'm on my second way through the Mitford series. Stephen King's Insomnia is another one I've read more than once.

24. What is the greatest problem with today's society?
Lack of respect.

25. How old were you when you first touched somebody else's hoohah?
16.

26. Would you ever skydive?
It's hard enough to actually get me on a plane - why would I entertain the thought of jumping out of one?

27. Name 3 songs significant to your romantic life, and tell why.
Crazy For You - Madonna. It was the song that I played recorded off the radio with my jam box and played over and over again while I wrote note after note to the guy mentioned in Question 15. The word "crazy" in the title should tell you my state of mind back then.
Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins. It was one of Brad's and my songs.
Shameless - Garth Brooks. Paul sang it to me, very drunkenly, one night when we were out and I very drunkenly listened and fell very drunkenly in love with him even very drunkenly more.

28. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
It's only a matter of time before my breasts are put back into their original positions.

29. Does bigfoot/sasquatch/yeti exist?

I am a direct genetic throwback of sasquatch. Have you ever seen the hair on my arms???

30. Are you a follower or a leader?
Depends. There are times I take charge and boss everyone around quite annoyingly. Then there are other times I am very content to sit back and play lemming.

31. What's the worst thing you did when you were a kid?
Came home drunk to my recently singled mother? That's about as bad as they get.

32. List three jobs you would never want to do.
Septic tank cleaner outer, personal assistant to a Hollywood star, teacher

33. Coke or Pepsi?
Coke. Pepsi is an abomination.

34. Where would you live if you could move your family, friends, and job there?
Springfield, Missouri.

35. Is three really a crowd?
That all depends on the situation. In a menage' a trois, that third person is pretty critical. In my mother's small kitchen, that third person is a liability and a fight waiting to happen.

36. What kind of interpersonal interaction repulses you?
Close talking

37. Who would you rather spend an hour with, a writer or an entertainer?
A writer.

38. Which calendar appeals to you: Nature's Wonders, AmazingArchitectural Feats, Babies as Vegetables, Hot Hunky ConstructionWorkers, Humane Society Cuties?
Ach, they all make me want quit caring what day of the week it is.

39. What would you do if life gave you lemons?
Probably get juice in a papercut and sit down in the corner to cry, then when I went to wipe away the tears, I'd accidentally get lemon juice in my eyes. That's just how things go for me.

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. I don't believe in soulmates, either. I think that's a bunch of malarky.

41. Did you ever wish on a falling star, and have the wish come true?
If you always wish for safe things, they always come true. If you say, "I wish that Monday would follow Sunday" and "I wish that Britney Spears would continue to be crazy" then you will always have your dreams come true.

4 comments:

Carrie said...

Oh, how much we're alike! Slightly scary, but I'd still consider it cool! I never had a sister, but I think you and Tater would make perfect fill-ins!

Hillbilly Mom said...

Hey! We could be neighbors in Springfield, by cracky!

RJ said...

fun meme!!
I agree with the coke/pepsi controversy.
I am barely civil to people who prefer pepsi...I think they have absolutely no taste!!! I had to give up classic coke (sob!) when I was told I had diabetes. Thank heavens Coke Zero was on the shelves. I was able to walk away from classic and I never thought that would happen.

sally axhandle said...

It has been nice knowing you. My sis and I have been able to overcome the animosity between Coke and Pepsi drinkers, but obviously you and your friends mistakenly believe that those of us who prefer Pepsi are of a different, somewhat inferior species. I would not dream of forcing my sis and her family to drink Pepsi, nor would she force us to drink Coke although we have been known to do so when nothing else was available. If we get hung up on differences like this, how do we expect to solve the problem of world peace?